nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
