can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
