what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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