Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
