I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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