Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
