fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
