Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
COCAINE IS GR8
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
