Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
