I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
