i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
All I want is dick and wine.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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