You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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