I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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