i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
