Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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