This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
