I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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