Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
