So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
