ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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