i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
