the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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