Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
