Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
