There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
