that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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