Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
