Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
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