I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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