Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
