I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
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