he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
