So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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