Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
