I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
