speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
