the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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