Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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