she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
