I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
