We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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