i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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