remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
