She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
