you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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