Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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