I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
