There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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