The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
