Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
